I think my mood to blog might have returned again. It's quite weird wan my blogging moods. When I don't blog for a super long time, you know its either one of two things. 1) That I have been so active in having great fun stuff going on in life so I initially would have lots to say but because of my superb refined perfected skills of procrastination, I never update my blog and hence it backlogs and backlogs, and then I just don't do it cause I can no more be bothered about it. Or it can be 2) Assignment season means that each time I think about blogging, it's like typing out another set of mind harrowing assignment all over again and that is definitely the last that I ever want to more assignments.

Recently I have come to realize that random musing is something I tend to do alot these days. As in, I can be thinking or having a serious conversation going on then something totally random and irrelevant will pop up in my head, out my mouth and then wipe out the existing memory data from the past half hour. Like just a moment ago, I knew what I was planning to blog about, but my brain suddenly went into HEY! LOOK AT THAT! and I see my big brother, and I mused, honestly, I have such a good looking kor kor, but he has such an unflattering hairstyle right now. What gives? Why can't the hairdresser just cut his hair properly? Yes yes, it breaks my heart when my kor is not good looking. Because I think that he is, although he's quite skinny and drug addict looking sometimes when he's tired and overworked and his speech never goes beyond a 5 word sentence string. Hm, maybe thats why Carmen says that I have a preference for skinny and drug addict looking guys. Thats not exactly true, but not exactly untrue either. And yes, I like vampires alot too, but thats because I've always liked vampire stories like Dracula, Hellsing, Vampire Knights, Trinity Blood and Black Blood Brothers. Sure I like Twilight's series too la, but vampires that are on some permanent emo-states and especially vampires that sparkles under the sunlight is JUST NOT my cup of tea. Vampires DIE when they come in contact with sunlight, not sparkle like a blinkin' diamond. Other vampires will just gawk at you silly. I can just imagine some whacked thinking dude wanting to cosplay Edward Cullen in Comic Fiesta this year and he'd just use plenty of silver glitter instead of fanged teeth and fake blood. D: That would be the ultimate death of the cosplay scene in Malaysia. So anyway the point to this story is that, I had something to say which is why I opened the blog page, but now that that intention is completely overriden, I have forgotten what it was.

Sigh, so much randomity, yet nothing productive coming out of this. I was actually doing some research for my next assignment, but the faraway deadline is proving to be a lousy motivation to get a move on. Actually I really do enjoy working out the finer details of this current assignment I'm paying attention to, cause I think now of all times ethnic violence in Malaysia (which is the topic of my assignment) is extremely relevent in our society today. I don't want to start an entire chapter on why I think our nation is in such dire need for healing and restorations, nor do I want to start on how we as the people should stand up to act and fight for our citizenship's rights. Blaming the government's tyranny is not going to help anybody reading this anyway, no amount of ranting or debating on what are the causes of the problem can do this nation any good anyway. Not tonight, with only 3 hours of sleep last night, I'm too exhausted to even think of the number of friends who comes up to me and says things like, 'whats the point in voicing out? Not like it's going to do any good.' or the number of young, intelligent talents I know that are on the next plane ticket out of this country, hopefully for good. The one resourceful and most equipped generation to come, even they have given up on the battle not yet fought. What else is there left to say?

I say I am reminded of the time Passion: World Tour came around last year somewhere in July. It was my first ever Christian concert, if I may call it that, so I didn't know what to expect. But the atmosphere that night was something even a uh I don't what goes on in events like these me knew to be strong, passionate, faithful and optimistic. A little over a year ago, the youths of the nation flooded together singing songs like God of This City and then, praying for the nation and realizing that this is home and this is where God put us in and that He has a greater purpose for us young generation Christians to be here. We knew it then, we felt it then, we believed it then.

Funny how that is just like a then-caught-up-crowd-frenzy, now neatly tucked and locked away in a secret compartment of our brain, the locks all broken into pieces and thrown out the window. Nobody wants to stick around and wait for that promise of greater things to come. Its as if nobody believes in it anymore ever since that night, save a precious few. So they leave, one by one, in flocks. And here I am, sitting here late at night thinking, this is so weird! What happened?Because I totally want to be here when that happens, I want to witness with my own two eyeballs the miracles and restoration that God will sweep this nation through and through with. Then I will know it to be from Him with every fibre of my being. Because it will be so mind blowingly awesome, I just know it like a gut feeling.

Because really, its not whether our country's government is crap or not. It's what are YOU going to do about it?