If only I could self headbutt, I would.

The brick wall is very tempting now. D:

I just checked my results, and the grade disparity between my subjects is mighty atrocious, to say the least. This will teach me to never take up Psychology units anymore, for now it is blinkin'ly apparent that I did not have a clue what I was throwing myself into when I did. Times like these makes me want to self headbutt for never thinking thoroughly before I leap, you see. And for whatever its worth, I hate Psychology very much now. Seriously thanking God now that I at least did not flunk it or else I would have lost my sanity on the spot. I feel a burning sensation inside that goes beyond upset. I'm flabbergasted and feeling really stupid.

Why, oh why did I even take elective subjects that dragged me down instead despite spending the most effort on it... for not one, but TWO semesters in a row? I must have been blinkin' bonkers and gone mad.

And the most cannot tahan thing?

Between Year 1 Sem 1 and Year 1 Sem 2, my overall grades only improved by a speck of ONE MARK despite all the extra effort and late nights spent studying in campus. Not that my grades are horrible, since I'm maintaining an overall Distinction (THANK YOU, GOD FOR ALL THE ANSWERED PRAYERS), but still. My mother is having a field day laughing about it cause she thinks its soooo funny. She, my mother, laughing at my miserable agony. D: What is this world coming to?

I'm going to do even better in Year 2. SO MUCH BETTER. Because I am seriously PISSED OFF knowing this is not the results I want to continue to live with for the next 2 years. Yes, I know I am self competitive to a point that it may seem silly. I acknowledge to a certain degree that I am at times super kiasu too. But hey, there is no way that I can remain fine and dandy splurging RM13k++ of my parent's hard earned money *per semester* by not doing well AND risk the possibility of failing anything at all and disappoint them as a return gesture. Too much at stake man. I'm glad I don't have to carry this burden alone, though.

In fact most importantly, I should be super duper grateful, because truly God is good la. For one crummy grade my Provider gave 2 good ones, so I'm not beating myself up too badly if my parents are okay with it and I have NOT blown it by failing anything because He made sure of it. Because He said I don't have feel like crap, but instead to just seek Him and give thanks for everything that is done and is yet to come. So yeah (:

So! On a much much brighter note, next semester's units looks promisingly interesting with,

GND2070 - RETHINKING GLOBAL CULTURE: SEX, RACE, CONSUMPTION
INT2030 - NATIONALITY, ETHNICITY AND CONFLICT
INT2060 - GLOBAL CULTURES, LOCAL TRADITIONS: CREATING& CONSUMING CULTURE
INT2085 - GOVERNING THE GLOBAL ECONOMY: STABILITY, EFFICIENCY, JUSTICE

They're all pretty much heavy and subjective units, but I'm going to stay optimistic about it cause I'm dead sure nothing can be a crappier trial than Psychology units. I'm done torturing myself, lol.


I'm going to go talk to Him now before turning in for bed, in all things count my blessings right? (:

Next time, I'm going to blog about happier things. Like how much I *hearts* Cloud Strife, or something.




Mood: - depressed
Listening to: MASSU - Akatsuki