Past few days after the End of Stay Camp and JENESY orientation has been beyond awful. It's like a sugar rush that has led to a continuous downward spiral ever since, what a sucky feeling this is. With so many things happening at once, I just don't feel motivated to face all the crap that is piling up on me right now. 

I'm first to admit that I am terrible at handling my emotional side at times, and with stress and tiredness induced on a daily lethal dose its no easy task to control myself from snapping at people or sudden outburst-ness. 

And so I cracked under all the pressure today.  At my mother - well because she started it first but really, whatever. It was such a horribly stupid redundant fight that I am so annoyed at the both of us for having to repeat this argument again for the millionth time. While I have reached a stage in my short life to where I can control the words that spew out of my mouth, I still struggle with my tone (because it has a linear connection with my emotions). As in, because I try so hard to hold back from saying the wrong things out of aggravation, anything that isn't suppose to sound wrong or offensive does because of the forced tense-ness in my voice. Or so she claims I have. 

Aih. As much as I love my mother to bits, she just makes it so damn difficult most of the time. 

the one reason why we hate each other's guts so badly is because we are so alike in terms of stubborness but are both unwilling to admit it. Sigh, is it too much to ask for little bit more understanding and compromising between us? Because I am seriously beginning to resent the "Because I am your mother" closing argument. It is so childish and totally unfair. 

Sigh.

Today was like the ultimate la, everything just kinda went awry and I was determined to remain in a foul mood for the rest of the week, lol. But don't worry, thats not going to happen. I will work things out with my mother, apologise. Hopefully next time when something similiar happens I will learn to keep my damn mouth shut already. 

For the other things that's messing up my life right now, I'll face it one by one when I'm ready. But I won't enjoy it *grim* Though I'd appreciate having less drama orchestrating themselves in my life's stage. Seriously.

Its been a long ranting post. So what I want to do from now on, is to remember the happy. 

I found this meme on Maxterism's blog, it's exactly the remedy I need. 

What made me happy today? 

That I spent a good afternoon reading the mangas and books I have recently purchased. I have Jodi Piccoult's Mercy, Vampire Knight vol.8 & 9 as well as *finally* Kurohitsuji vol.1. It has caused the sudden appearance of a massive black hole in my wallet, but oh-so-worth-every-penny-and-dime. =) 

I read Vampire Knight first and it was blissful. Beautiful drawings of beautiful vampires making out makes my day. lol. 

Oh, am watching Nobuta wo Produce too. Am happy about that too. hurhur. 

I tag anyone who needs to remember their doses of happiness of late. Starry, Melinda, Mandy,  Brian, Ken Wei.... I'd ask Bubbles to do it had there be no lingual communication barrier between us. Seems a bit down these days, poor girl.